About Adolescence
I loved watching the Netflix series Adolescence and thought it was amazing television that carried some important messages with it. As a researcher who has been involved for the past few years in exploring the influences of schools, peer groups and social media on masculinity and femininity, it has been exciting to see the amount of attention that the series has drawn. With people talking about the program it feels like a great time for more research to be happening into adolescent gender constructions and performances (which is another way of talking about what it means, and what it’s like, to be a boy or a girl). There is some fascinating research around, and there is a fault somewhere that means that much of it is largely missed by the general public. So when something like Adolescence manages to get people thinking then that’s definitely a good thing. However, I would argue that a focus on incel culture, the influence of social media and the plight of young men, should be balanced by a few points, which I’ll list first:
- The situation for diverse masculinities and femininities is probably better now than ever
- Being a boy at school can be really hard, but being a girl is usually harder
- Social media is not the source of all the problems. At best it can be part of the solution
I’m really conscious of sounding like a bit of a wet blanket to be writing this in the swell of public interest in the program (which, again, I thought was brilliant) but why not strike while the iron is hot and push the conversation a bit broader?
The situation for diverse masculinities and femininities is probably better now than ever
In general, we understand better than ever that there is no right or wrong way to be a man or a woman. In past generations boys would be trained to men on the lesson that they can’t be emotional, and girls taught that they’ll need to stop playing sport as they become women, and concentrate on how they appeal to men, an idea that Paechter neatly described using communities of practice (2007). These previously valourised models of masculinity and femininity now might seem outdated, and these changes have allowed boys and girls a bit of breathing space when it comes to trying to conform, as described by sociologists such as Anderson and his observation of inclusive masculinities (2018). Being popular and gaining status has always been important to young people, but the days we are able to better separate ways to gain status from gender: I would argue that young people have more ways of doing this these days, because they don’t have just work with material that’s stereotypically ‘compatible’ with their gender. Research has shown that more and more girls and boys can gain status amongst their peers by doing similar things well, such as achieving academically, being kind or engaging in exercise (Benfet et al, 2025, is an interesting and recent study that looks at how students understand kindness and enact it). These are positive changes that have continued to happen through my lifetime.
This absolutely does not mean that we’re anywhere close to children not being free from gender norms; aside from their family, I would argue that a young person’s gender will be the biggest factor in how their life turns out, and this happens as they are socialised into growing up a particular way based on whether they’re a boy or a girl. But what I could not agree with is a blanket statement that says “it was better in our day.” The situation when I was at school was significantly better for some of the boys at the expense of the rest of the boys and most of the girls. I expect that the likelihood of a teacher challenging sexist, homophobic, racist or other derogatory language is higher now than in the past, and further to that the proportion of a young person’s peer group who would think less of the person who said it, has increased. So, whilst being a boy who embodies a dominant form of masculinity, or a boy who benefitted from a patriarchal society, might not be what it used to be, over the entire spectrum of young people, I think we’re net positive.
Being a boy at school can be really hard, but being a girl is usually harder
I started my research into gender because I wanted to explore ways of helping boys to redress the gender gap in educational attainment and attitudes, where boys perform less well than girls in assessments, and are much more likely to get into trouble at school. I saw a situation that looked as though things must be unfairly balanced, at the detriment of boys. But the great thing about research is that it makes you read and learn about things beyond what you can see, and that helps you reflect. My mates and I have talked over the last couple of years about how we can look back at our time at school in the knowledge that however difficult we found male adolescence, being a girl at our school would have been much harder. We still exist in a society that is largely run by men, where opportunities for boys are greater than those for girls, and where girls have to work harder in order to achieve equally. This goes right into the reality of what it is to be a school pupil, where boys receive more attention than girls, and are held to different standards than girls. It is still usually the case that being the most popular boy in a co-ed school requires you to be put on a pedestal by the other boys, whereas being the most popular girl at school requires legitimation from girls and boys.
There is loads of good stuff that is happening at the moment about improving the situation for girls worldwide, and whilst supporting boys is a great, important thing to do, I wouldn’t want this to come at the cost of time and resources put to bringing the lived experience of girls closer to parity with boys.
Social media is not the source of all the problems. At best it can be part of the solution
This is a big one for me. In a previous school I was surprised when I found out that there was pressure on the school to become smartphone-free. The reason for this was that my experience was that schools were pretty much phone free-zones, in the same way that when an adult comes to work, then they shouldn’t be on their phone. I’ve been lucky enough to be in schools where children know that they shouldn’t be on their phones whilst in school, and if they are found to be then they’re going to get in trouble about it. That’s because the phones are a distraction from what they’re doing. Banning phones in schools isn’t really a big issue though, because its pretty easy for teachers to put things in place to manage that. I liken it to reducing carbon emissions: if a person isn’t convinced that CO2 emissions are responsible for climate change, then the good news is that they’re not really going to lose out much by reducing their emissions anyway. So banning phones in schools is not going to do that much harm. How far are we going in examining the other 16 hours in the day, though?
If as a society we’re genuinely concerned about the impact of social media, then would we be willing to ban it for adults too? Afterall, that’s who children are learning what it is to be a man or a woman from. I think the answer is no: most adults would argue that they can manage their social media usage. There is loads of good stuff available on social media, and at its heart, it is social. I keep in touch with my friends in a way that generations previous to mine would not be able to, and whilst there are some negatives that come with social media, there are also loads of positives which adolescents could gain from. For many vulnerable young people social media provides support that they can’t find day to day in school or at home; it can give people a sense of belonging that they can’t find elsewhere, and help them know that they’re not alone in the way they feel about things. Also, the case is not closed about the impact of social media on young people – big, broad studies generally conclude that there are a balance of positives and negatives, so approach with caution maybe, but don’t assume too much; as ever, the situation is nuanced.
Regarding incel culture, what happened in Adolesence was really shocking, and when something like that happens in real life then its a tragedy. It’s worth remembering though that this was a piece of TV drama, and the incidence of teenage violence that is causally linked to incel culture in the UK is hugely eclipsed by the violence that happens at the other end of a spectrum of hegemonic masculinity, where knife crime or gender violence is carried out by young men jostling for and attempting to maintain a status as a dominant male. So its my hope that seeing how Adolescence has managed to get its foot properly in the door (of number 10 and metaphorically), that the door for continued conversations about teenage gender constructions and performances can continue and expand.
Paechter, C. (2007) Being Boys, Being Girls: learning masculinities and femininities. Open University Press. ISBN 0335219748
Coughlan, S. (2017) ‘less homophobic bullying’ in Britain’s schools, BBC News. Available here.
Diepeveen, S. (2024) ‘How do online media influence gender norms among adolescent boys? Key evidence and policy Implications’. Policy Note. London: ODI.
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